Wow gee willy it has been such a long time since I've posted on here. I have a lot to fill you guys in on. Well for starters I celebrated Christmas back home in LA with my family. I was only there for a short time though because I don't like my family that much. Come to think of it I didn't spend that much time with them because I was busy pumping iron and practicing the art of mind control to make sure I didn't surpass 400 calories a day. For gifts I received numerous nutritional supplements and dieting books to further my regimen. I was so angry at my family, they tried to make me my favorite Armenian rice dish but I noticed on the recipe there was a teaspoon of oil added. Do you have any idea how many calories that is???? Also white rice is a bottomless pit of empty carbohydrates. Only a fatty would eat that. Have you guys noticed I've been letting my hair grow out? It is curlier than before, especially when I don't slick it back with gel. I thought the ladies might be more aroused by that. I can't help my Armenian heritage which supplies me with a hearty helping of hair all over my body. I pity the man who cannot fill his chest and stomach with a tuft of hair. I find that if I trim and manscape it in a certain way I can create the appearance of rippling, rock-hard abs. The ladies love it, I can only venture to imagine. I hate Doner Kebab.
Well after Christmas in LA I went over to Germany to spend some time traveling. It was so cold there, though, that my ears bled! I mean literally. I got blood all over my old jacket so that is why I bought my newest jacket. It is a gorgeous shade of hyper-reflective neon yellow. I like it so that I can stand out in a crowd. I certainly get a lot of stares from the ladies and every one else. They are probably just marvelling at how stylish and sexy I look. I am a bit discouraged though, one time someone asked me where the nearest trash receptacle was and I couldn't understand why. I kindly pointed them in the right direction though. It also helps that I look like an emergency official. I hope that women would be more trusting of me that way when I go up to them randomly in the street.
I am not going to study for my finals very much. Instead, I am travelling around to every random, useless city in Belgium besides Brussels. I was being very mysterious the other day about what train tickets I was going to buy. I think I am going to go to Granada. I hear there is a very optimal selection of ladies there and I already researched online to find a good temporary workout spot to continue my regimen. Also I have a goal of losing 10 pounds PRIOR to Brussels so I can binge on chocolate. Sort of a binge and purge in reverse, if you will. I am so clever.
Well goodbye every one, until next time. I will update you on my travels and on my life.
Adios amigos.
New contract: Spanish ONLY. besides this blog.
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