PRE-DEPARTURE

Oh hey every one

I'm about to jet off to Belgium.  I can't wait, I lost 2kg before the trip.  Now I can eat chocolate.  I could do a squat with 300 pounds.

I have also been preparing for my trip to Morocco.  I learned that you eat with your right hand and wipe your anus with the left.  I will have to remember that for table manners.  Is it a problem and I'm ambidextrous?  I am sleeping in a nomad tent for a night with actual nomads.  I cannot wait, I hope I get to become part of their tribe.  Also I am going into a coop to buy a rug from some native women.  Hopefully it will fit underneath my seat on the plane or hopefully I can put it stretched out on the plane aisle.  It will probably smell awful after so I will have to air it out.  I am hoping the women there will be attracted to my complexion and hair.

I am not very sad to be leaving Madrid.  I will miss Allison a lot especially.  She is so kewl.  Also Ryan. LOL dude he is a champ.  so good with the ladies.  I hope I can learn.

Ok goodbye to all of my fans.  Thank you for reading my blog these last few months.  Add me as a friend on Myspace.

Peace love and melted chocolate

LOL HEHE

Update

Hello Earthlings

Wow gee willy it has been such a long time since I've posted on here.  I have a lot to fill you guys in on.  Well for starters I celebrated Christmas back home in LA with my family.  I was only there for a short time though because I don't like my family that much.  Come to think of it I didn't spend that much time with them because I was busy pumping iron and practicing the art of mind control to make sure I didn't surpass 400 calories a day. For gifts I received numerous nutritional supplements and dieting books to further my regimen.  I was so angry at my family, they tried to make me my favorite Armenian rice dish but I noticed on the recipe there was a teaspoon of oil added.  Do you have any idea how many calories that is????  Also white rice is a bottomless pit of empty carbohydrates.  Only a fatty would eat that.  Have you guys noticed I've been letting my hair grow out?  It is curlier than before, especially when I don't slick it back with gel.  I thought the ladies might be more aroused by that.  I can't help my Armenian heritage which supplies me with a hearty helping of hair all over my body.  I pity the man who cannot fill his chest and stomach with a tuft of hair.  I find that if I trim and manscape it in a certain way I can create the appearance of rippling, rock-hard abs.    The ladies love it, I can only venture to imagine.  I hate Doner Kebab.  

Well after Christmas in LA I went over to Germany to spend some time traveling.  It was so cold there, though, that my ears bled!  I mean literally.  I got blood all over my old jacket so that is why I bought my newest jacket.  It is a gorgeous shade of hyper-reflective neon yellow.  I like it so that I can stand out in a crowd.  I certainly get a lot of stares from the ladies and every one else.  They are probably just marvelling at how stylish and sexy I look.  I am a bit discouraged though, one time someone asked me where the nearest trash receptacle was and I couldn't understand why.  I kindly pointed them in the right direction though.  It also helps that I look like an emergency official.  I hope that women would be more trusting of me that way when I go up to them randomly in the street.

I am not going to study for my finals very much.  Instead, I am travelling around to every random, useless city in Belgium besides Brussels.  I was being very mysterious the other day about what train tickets I was going to buy.  I think I am going to go to Granada.  I hear there is a very optimal selection of ladies there and I already researched online to find a good temporary workout spot to continue my regimen.  Also I have a goal of losing 10 pounds PRIOR to Brussels so I can binge on chocolate.  Sort of a binge and purge in reverse, if you will.  I am so clever.

Well goodbye every one, until next time.  I will update you on my travels and on my life. 

Adios amigos.  

New contract: Spanish ONLY.  besides this blog.

Hello, my fans

Hi every one.  I'm sorry I haven't written here in so long.  I've been busy maintaining my bodybuilding regimen.  I clock in at least 3 hours at the gym daily and an additional 2 hours of mind exercises to sharpen my martial arts ability.  I have been going on plenty of trips lately.  I was in Lisbon, Portugal and I indulged myself by eating delicious pastries--- TWO of them!  Of course I kept off the extra sugar.  Only a weaker man would have consumed those useless calories.  I did not approve of Lisbon---they did not cater to my dietary specifications.  Next, I went to London, which was horrible.  Just awful.  I had to go to represent my Armenian heritage though.  I am writing this blog from a cybercafe in Paris!  I am sitting here with my beret and my comfortable American walking shoes just enjoying life really.  I ordered a poached chicken breast with no seasonings or sauce, but they added a little bit of salt...I had to send it back.  Paris has the best chocolates IN THE WHOLE WORLD.  I am very excited.  School is going well, I wrote my first ever paper in Spanish longer than 2 pages and I think it went well.  I have been experimenting with my hair by using gel to slick it back.  Unfortunately when I went to Lisbon they confiscated my hair gel and it was a complete disaster, I felt so off my game.  They jacked it from me!  I had a good Thanksgiving dinner where I ate 3 plates full of food and a dessert!!! Ohhhhhhhhh it was so sweet and savory.  I had to really punish myself the next day at the gym though.  I was there from dawn to sunset.

Ok, friends, nice speaking to you.  Until next time.

My birthday is coming up in a couple days.  I am going to have two glasses of sangria.

Edmundo Quotes

"It's all about the image"

"I don't want to get jacked (in reference to his watch)"

"All I have to show off is muscle"

"I shave my stomach"